this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize