i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize