shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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