My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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