Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
