he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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