We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
