Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
