Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Randomize
