Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
