found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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