i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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