3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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