No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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