there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
