yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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