Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
