I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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