Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
