Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
