Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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