There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
