do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we have pet lesbian snakes
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
