how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
