Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You made out with two different species that night
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
