I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
