I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
