soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
