he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
