hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
