My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just had sex bonerless
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
