i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
