this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
