Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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