sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
