she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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