so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
