oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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