At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
