like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
