Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
