guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
