I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
These tits shall not be calmed
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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