he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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