Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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