I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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