i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize