ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
