I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
