So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize