normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
