I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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