You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
