How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize