this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
