i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
