It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
