party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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