We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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