somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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