Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
