Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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