is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
