I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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