Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
