that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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