yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
