It's Friday. Sex?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
