You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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