Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize